Time

Time is such a funny thing. Sometimes it flies by in the blink of an eye and other times minutes can feel like days. 8(ish) years ago I met a man who eventually became my family. I met him at a bowling alley, and we talked for hours about his 3-legged cat. Throughout the years, we always remained close, and I have always been grateful for his unconditional love and support. This year, he turned 102. No small feat for anyone. For the last few years, religiously, every Sunday, we would get together and spend some time together. This past Sunday was no different. We laughed and joked and smiled in the sunlight shining through the window, just before lunchtime. If you know him, his laughter is infectious.

Today was tough. I went to go see him, not for the usual fun and games kind of visit, but because in the past 48 hours his health declined rather rapidly. It was really heavy seeing him so vulnerable. I hardly recognized him from the man I saw just the other day. I walked in and immediately it took me back to losing my dad. As I just sat and watched, I had flashbacks of my dad in the very same position. Unable to communicate and struggling to breathe. The sadness and pain in his eyes were almost unbearable.

Several years back I made the intentional decision to MAKE the time to spend with the people that I love. Sometimes it's hard with everything that life throws at me, but I realized how important it was when I started losing people in my life, never being able to get the time back. Taking a glance in the rearview, there were many times I should have shown up, and I didn't for whatever reason. Now that they are gone, I wish I would have made different choices. 

Honestly, I'm sitting here lightweight struggling to write this. Letting my vulnerability show, something I rarely do, and not just for anyone. Maybe it's because I know what's coming. I know how this story ends. I'm sad because seeing someone you care for so deeply in such a helpless state, is overwhelming and terrifying. No doubt, if I could fix it, I would. At the same time, I know that peace is coming and that brings me comfort. Knowing there is a seat at the table waiting for him is all I could ever ask for. I know that death is a part of life, but that doesn't make it any easier. I'm glad I made the time while I had it. 

My genuine suggestion to you is to make time for the people, places, and things that bring you joy. Take the 10 extra minutes and go get the coffee before work. Read the book. Go visit your loved ones. Tell your friends you love them (it's okay to make it weird) Say the things. The work will be there tomorrow. The blog will be there later. The sunshine will still find its way up tomorrow (miraculously, it always does), but you or your loved one may not so don't take the little things for granted. Some of the smallest gestures or encounters sometimes end up being the biggest and most impactful memories.